An open letter from The Heavenly Father

Dearest Daughter,

You are so beautiful. I know that you don't always see it and sometimes you think no one notices you, but you are stunning. The way your eyes light up when you smile, the color of your hair, your perfect toes, everything about you takes my breath away. I wish that sometimes you would see yourself the way I see you. I spent so much time on every single one of your features when I made you. I knit you together in your mother's womb. You were always a part of my plan and you are not an accident.

Sometimes the world gets crazy around you, sometimes it feels like you're all alone or like you're forgotten, but you're not. I am your Father. The one who made you. The one who is always there. So many of you have been misled to believe that a dad is nothing more than someone who comes in and out of your life but isn't there when it really matters. What a lie! I never leave your side. When you look at me, when you have something to say, my heart stops because nothing else matters more to me than you. Nothing is as important to me as you my beloved child.

Trust me. I know that you can't see me and my ways never make sense. But beloved, my ways are not the ways of man. They never will be. I am faithful, I am just, I am trustworthy. I love you. Oh you can not imagine the fervor with which I love you. Nothing in the universe is more precious to me than you. Nothing matters more to me than you. I have always loved you, for all of eternity I have loved you. So stop trying to earn my love. It is a gift and there is nothing you could ever do to change it. I know you struggle. I know you sin, and yet still, my daughter, I cherish you. Look to me. Let me help you. Let me guide you. Let me show you your worth because it is more than a thousand diamonds and rubies.

I love you with an everlasting love my precious one,

Your Heavenly Father

It's not me, it's you.

Every time I look in the mirror, I hear your voice. Taunting me, criticizing, and full of hate. You blind me from my beauty and all I see are my flaws. "big pores, bushy eyebrows, frizzy hair, yellow teeth." you whisper. "never thin enough" you remind me.

I can't even hear anyone speak without hearing it through the filters you have placed over my ears. Criticisms become personal attacks and compliments are always lies. "No one really likes you" you say. "See, you always mess things up." you whisper.

All the times I'm supposed to be living, I'm dying a little inside. Hoping that maybe no one will notice the ugly person I think I am, the ugly person you remind me that I am.


A few days ago, I was taking a walk down memory lane and looking at old pictures. Remembering fun times spent with friends. Every memory was stained with your familiar words, "you're the ugliest one in the room. No one really likes you, they just tolerate you." But you know what? Looking back, I can see that I don't actually look like an ogre and my friends actually seem genuinely happy to be with me.  And it makes me sad to think about how many happy moments you have stolen from me and how many friendships I have never pursued because of you. I wonder how many times I missed the chance to be a good friend because I was so busy worrying about hiding the ugliness inside me.

Insecurity, we need to talk. You see, things just aren't going to work. You and I can't be together anymore. I've kept you around most of my life and you know, this thing we have going, its just getting old.

You see, I've met someone else. His name is Jesus. And you know what? He tells me I'm beautiful every single day. He sends me flowers every spring and paints the sky with beautiful colors for me each night. Best of all, I don't have to pretend with Him. He loves me no matter what and I'm starting to love myself too.

So I'm sorry insecurity. You'll have to leave.

Jesus is all I need.


xo

Victoria