More than a man

Y'all,  I married a wonderful man. Sometimes I look at him and I get overwhelmed by how perfectly The Lord made us for each other. He loves me the way I need to be loved and he sees all my flaws and weaknesses and calls me beautiful anyways. Plus he's gorgeous. I'm not kidding. He looks like a Ken doll! I've never had anyone as good as him. 

Relationships have always been tough for me though. I used them to try to fill voids. I hid my insecurity in them until they became infected with it and like a stinky wound, it only festered until it completely ruined them from the inside out. I've spent countless nights in tears because I just wanted someone to tell me I was good enough or give me enough attention or call me beautiful enough times until I believed it. But it never happened because that's unrealistic. My mom used to tell me, "if you don't love you, how do you expect anyone else to?" I used to think she was nuts because in my mind, if someone else saw me as good or worthy, then maybe I was! 

The other day I read some lyrics to a song that were all too familiar. They were to a song called "wrecking ball" by Miley Cyrus. And sadly I remembered a time in my life where I could relate. "Loving" the pain, feeling completely stripped, the empty-ness and broken heart of a destructive love. If I'm being honest, all of my relationships in the past could be described this way. Maybe you can relate. Actually I'm almost positive you can because even a celebrity can!  

For many years I thought I had things figured out though, I thought I would meet the man who did all the cute things you see on romantic comedies and say the right things like the ones Edward does in Twilight. And I thought that surely this perfect of a man could never hurt me and I wouldn't have to worry about ever feeling this way again.

Well then I met my husband. And y'all he's great. but he isn't perfect. He messes up too. We all do. I mean expecting him to be all perfect all around with no flaws was a crazy high standard that I wouldn't want him holding me to. Right? I mean lets be honest people, I'm messy, horrible at punctuality, and have a gift for procrastination. And that's just to name a few. So about a year before my wedding, I found myself at a crossroads, realizing that I didn't know what to do. Because what I wanted more than anything was a man that loved me exactly how I needed to be loved, I wanted a man that would never fail me, and most of all I wanted someone who would never ever ever hurt me. So I did what anyone would do and sought the advice of someone more wise than me. I guess what I expected my pastor to do was to give me a recipe for how to train or hypnotize my future husband into my perfect little barbie and then my worries would be over! I'm not kidding y'all! I was ready to write down the scripture verses I could post around the house as rules to make him fit into my mold. WRONG.

The only person who could fit everything I wanted and truly guarantee that I would never be hurt again was Jesus. I know what you're thinking, "boring! so typical of you!" because honestly I thought the same thing. I was like "yeah yeah, pastor. Take the easy way, tell me I don't believe in Jesus enough." But then I realized I had nothing else. I was on a road toward a marriage with a man I loved more than anyone but also a man that could never ever promise me that he would be perfect, and I couldn't promise him perfection either. So guess what, after a few days of thinking, I gave it a shot. I asked the Lord to be what I needed. I decided to just say "Hey Jesus, I've never had much luck with this whole Love thing. Could you please show me how it's supposed to be? Because I don't want to say vows to a man and expect things from him I would never be able to give myself, and also, I am just honestly too tired and too damaged to take a gamble again on someone who might fail me."

And guess what happened guys? He did. He came in, swept me off my feet and continues to show me a love more deep and more wide, and more furious than anything I could have ever imagined. Every night He paints the sky with his majesty, every spring He colors the earth with flowers, Every morning he renews His mercies, and every moment, He is with me. I have found myself enthralled and my heart completely ravaged by a love I never knew was possible. The craziest part of all of it is that each day that my love for my savior deepens, I find that the love I have for my husband grows too. Because now I see him for what he is. Not this make-believe knight in shinning armor, but a gift and an earthly companion. He's wonderful and he's great. But all of my hopes, dreams, and aspirations lie in someone who is so much more than a man.

xo 

Victoria

Seeking the King

So the last few Sunday evenings the husband and I have been watching that series "The Bible" on The History Channel. Have you? It's so good. In case you haven't seen it, basically they took The Bible, pulled all the major highlights out and made a series out of it. Each episode is 2 hours long and they run until Easter Sunday. It's really cool and I hope they make it available on DVD because I'd love to own it! 

Anyways, as I've mentioned before, I was raised in a Christian home, and went to church my whole life so most of these stories are pretty familiar to me. I mean I remember David and Goliath and Daniel in the lions den, I learned about them through puppet skits and little cartoon characters on a felt board as a child, and I've heard so many sermons preached on them. I guess that's why I took them for granted for so long and honestly remembered them as the puppet skits and cartoons I first learned them as. Watching this series though has really opened my eyes. God did some really cool stuff. No seriously! And I feel like sometimes we forget. Sometimes we think of Him as this nice big guy in white that lives in the clouds and hangs out until we beg Him enough to do something for us. But guys He's so much more than that! 

Lately The Lord has been challenging me in my prayer life and it's so tough. I was praying the other day, probably going down my list of wants, needs, and wishes and the Lord stopped me in my tracks. Sometimes when He speaks, it's like He's in the room. It's so loud and clear and hard impossible to ignore. He gave me a bit of a challenge and asked me who I thought I was to constantly speak to the Lord as if He were my hand maiden. Woah. 

As believers, sometimes I feel like it's so easy to get caught up in making a "to do" list for the Lord. We spend so much time marking down situations and circumstances that we want the Lord to intervene in. But how much time do we spend actually talking to God like a friend? I'm not saying that He doesn't care about our needs and we should just figure things out ourselves, but I'd like to submit to you that the time we spend asking the Lord for things should be far outweighed by the time we spend seeking Him and just trying to get to know Him. Tough? Yeah I know. But I mean think about it, would you want a friend or a loved one to only communicate with you when they wanted something? I wouldn't. Not at all. Well believe it or not, God is no different. Jesus sacrificed on the cross so that we were no longer indentured servants and could instead come boldly before the throne of the everlasting father. Not just so that we could have His help with things in our lives, But for something more beautiful. Jesus sacrificed so that we could get to know our creator, so that we could fall in love with Him.

There's a Phil Wickham song I love called "Beautiful," listen to it if you get the chance. Anyways, the first line of the song says, 

      "I see your face in every sunrise, the colors of the morning are inside your eyes."

I love it. I'd just like to challenge you today to do less "to do list" reading and more seeking, and taking time to stop more often and just discover the beauty of our King.

xo

Victoria

Perfect in His eyes

Have you ever seen one of those girls that looks exactly like her mom? Like they're totally twins? I love when I see that. I just think its totally adorable and so cool. Now lets go on a little imaginary journey! So picture a set of  mom and daughter "twins" together in, lets say, a bedroom getting ready to go somewhere together. You know, all the makeup and hair products everywhere, a little music, and of course lots of laughs. Now imagine the daughter looking in the mirror and suddenly going on and on about how ugly she thinks she is. Just naming all the features she can't stand and flaws she wishes she could change. Sounds pretty normal right? I mean I think all of us girls have those moments where we think "woah" and not in a good way. Imagine though, how the mom in the room probably feels. She's of course thinking that her daughter is absolutely wrong and that she's the most beautiful thing in the world. But also, she's probably getting a little bit hurt right? Thinking, "but you're not ugly, you look just like me." ouch.

So I was totally having one of those moments a couple of weeks back. I was putting on some eyeliner I think and just felt like I was looking in a scary carnival mirror because I just kept naming my flaws silently in my head. And the Lord just stopped me. And he showed me the mom and daughter scene I just described along with a verse that I really never related to beauty.

"Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image and likeness...' " 
Genesis 1:26

Now I don't think this verse is strictly about beauty but I love how the Bible is such a living and breathing document that sometimes things you never considered totally come alive. It's so cool.

Anyways, have you ever actually considered the fact that God's word says you were made in His image? You were. Not His image minus your nose, huge pores, or frizzy hair. It doesn't say that you were made in his image if you have always been skinny. It doesn't say you were made in His image if you are 5'10" and look just like Cindy Crawford. It just says you are made in His image. So there's a couple of things we get from this!

1. God didn't make a mistake with you. Oh you don't like your frizzy hair or your big teeth? Well they weren't a mistake. God thinks you're beautiful (and so do I!). I mean seriously Cindy Crawford is beautiful but wouldn't the world be so boring if we all looked like her? Gah! I mean then we wouldn't have pretty girls like Emma Stone or Beyonce Knowles or YOU! Your unique features are God's creativity at it's best! 

2. When you criticize yourself and pick at your flaws, you are hurting the heart of the heavenly Father. Yes, you read that right. It actually hurts Him. He is the parent creator that says "wait, you think you're ugly? But I made you in my image. I think you're stunning." This is the part that really made me say ouch. Because the last thing I want to do is hurt my savior's heart. He died for us y'all, gives us the air we breathe, and beautiful things like flowers and sunsets and really how could you hurt someone like that?

So I hope the next time you look in the mirror you stop and take a moment to acknowledge the stunning beautiful person that you really are. The Lord made you like this on purpose and you are his precious child. Start acting like you know it! 

Love y'all! 

xo

Victoria

Beautiful

Since it's the holidays, I thought it'd be a fitting time to honor a woman that is truly beautiful. She still teaches me every day what beauty and glamour are, sometimes without even realizing it! Growing up, she was often the encourager and cheerleader of our house. She was, and still is, my example of what a classy, beautiful woman is. 

"Everything is better in black" she'd say to my sister and I while we were on one of our many shopping trips. 

"Always take the time to get ready before going anywhere. And don't do it for anyone else but yourself. It takes no more effort to put on jeans instead of sweatpants." We weren't ever allowed to wear sweat pants in public! :)

"Always invest in classic pieces. They will stand the test of time and never go out of style." This explains my large collection of little black dresses and pencil skirts. 

"Smile! You never know who needs to see one!" She always taught us to constantly be thinking of others.

"You are beautiful." 

My mom is hands down one of the most stylish, classy, and fabulous women I know. She taught me to take pride in my appearance because looking good, helps you feel good! She taught me the tricks of the trade in shopping. If you think I can shop, you really should meet the woman who taught me to! She also taught me the importance of always being considerate of others and how beauty on the inside is what really matters. I even remember her giving the security guards at her office Valentine's day presents because she wanted to make sure they had something! 

More than anything though, my mom encourages me when I feel hopeless, she cheers for me when I need it, and she shows me everyday what it means to be beautiful.

xo

Victoria 

Five things on a Friday

Happy Friday y'all!! I love the weekend and have lots going on so please excuse the randomness of this post! 

1. My husband and I are having date night tonight and I'm SO excited! We're going to eat dinner at our favorite little Vietnamese place and then to see a movie. I have no idea what I'm going to wear but I'm definitely looking forward to getting all dolled up just for him! I may even do a dress and some tights! 

2. My very VERY talented friend took some pictures of us for our Christmas cards as a wedding gift this week. She's an amazing mom to 4 and a crazy talented photographer. We've only seen a couple of pictures so far but here's one: 

Isn't she so good?! I can't wait to see the rest!! 

3. Just a quick update, I am absolutely LOVING my new job! I love getting to meet so many beautiful women and being able to spend time making them realize their own beauty. I am so blessed to be able to do it. Makeup is such a fun thing and it's been a really great tool to use to show women how amazing they really are. 

4. Speaking of my job, Elizabeth Arden makes a fabulous product called Prevage Clinical Lash & Brow Enhancing Serum and my boss has been raving about it. Well, she sent me a free full size sample of it today in the mail! SWEET! Basically it's like Lattise so it helps your lashes grow. BUT its not as expensive, doesn't require a perscription, and doesn't have scary side effects. I'm really excited about using it! I'll be sure to let y'all know how I like it and when I start seeing results! :)

5. As I mentioned here, I love painting my nails! One thing I love about the Christmas season is sparkly red nail polish! Or red with glitter. Anyways, I'm totally planning on doing mine red today! YAY! I'll take some pics if I can! It's so fun to be able to get into the holiday spirit in every way possible! I know, I'm part elf. ;)

Well I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I'll be working at the counter all weekend so if you're in the area, stop by and see me! 

Love y'all! 

xo

Victoria

Stripped

I've really been struggling with writing about this topic because it's still something I struggle with almost every day. But it's been really heavy on my heart so maybe I'm supposed to share it for a reason.

Did you know that Northern New York is different from upstate New York? I didn't either. It's actually the region above the Catskills (all the way by Canada) and is ever so affectionately called the "North Country." The North Country is now my home. The city town I live in is called Watertown and it's about 30 minutes from the Canadian border. It's very different from San Antonio. That's where I grew up. 

Watertown doesn't have very many stores (a few and thank Jesus its growing!). It definitely doesn't have a Forever 21 or a Nordstrom. Gasp! And you're right if you guessed that having access to the very latest in fashion isn't an easy thing (unless you count Target and Charlotte Rousse... which aren't horrible options, but lets be real). 

Now insert me. The labels lady. The girl who turned her nose up at clothes from last season. Don't even mention 2-3 seasons ago. And what's that you say? The nearest Forever 21 is an hour away and the nearest Nordstrom is 5 hours away? *faints*

Oh the task of making yourself feel beautiful when you are stripped of the labels you love, and cut off from the convenience of a big city with world class shopping.... How does a girl achieve such a thing you ask? It's not easy let me tell you, and it has absolutely nothing to do with clothes.



It's funny how sometimes when the Lord wants to teach us something, He strips things in our lives away. I'll tell you girls, He sure is doing that with me. I mean, here I am in this beautiful place with none of the fashion amenities I'm used to and a closet that's looking less and less like it fell out of the pages of a magazine. And I'm supposed to figure out how to continually look at myself in the mirror (in clothes from 3 years ago) and see beauty. Let me be honest with you and say that I don't always see it. My husband does (God bless him) but if we're being honest, I have to say that I don't. And it's not like I have all these other ways to cover it up or things to focus on instead. I've reached a point where all those things, whatever they may be, are gone too. I'm stripped and the only place I have to turn is to Jesus. 

I know, I know, you're wondering what He has to do with everything. I felt the same way at first too. And it's so crazy because literally Jesus in my life is the only thing that makes me truly feel pretty. 

As discussed last week, His death on the cross to save us is a really awesome start. But it's just a start and it's so fabulous it makes me want to jump around my living room! Because He says He knows we are going to mess up every day so not to worry, because His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). And He says that our beauty doesn't come from anything on the outside, not crazy fab hair, or amazing clothes but from the inside (1 Peter 3:3-4).  Even more encouraging, is that He says we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I could literally go on until tomorrow with Bible verses because the Bible is such a love letter. There are so many! But the sweetest part, the part that gets me through a rough day, is His whisper in my ear that He loves me. Like, the inconvenient, life sacrificing, overwhelming, all consuming, slap you in face, make you feel great kind of love. And somehow I just know that if He loves me, there's no way I'm not beautiful.

I hope with all of my heart that each one of you fabulous readers finds that love. It is truly life changing.

xo 

Victoria

The City

We are finally home from quite a weekend! I still have to finish unpacking and getting ready for the week but I wanted to share a few pics with you guys.

This is on the Brooklyn Bridge. Definitely going to print and frame this!


We met up with one of my sorority sisters from college for lunch and some fun in Bryant Park. Adore her.

My husband's friend was our host for the weekend and he was amazing. He took us all around town, let us stay at his house, and brought us to some of the best restaurants in the area. The man is a saint! 



Can we all just take a moment and acknowledge how gorgeous my husband is!? 

We met up with a friend of mine from middle school for a late night drink. Love her.













NY style pizza is outta this world. No wonder most New Yorkers I know are such pizza snobs! Oh yeah, I really did fold the pizza like a true New Yorker and everything! ;)

It was a wonderful, fabulous weekend!! I am in. love. with that city. I didn't want the weekend to be over! It was so much fun. I've got a couple of outfit posts in store so stay tuned! 


How did you spend your weekend? 

Hope you all have a wonderful week!

xo

Victoria

Who Me?

So I told ya'll we would be talking about other things besides fashion that still relate to beauty. Today is one of those days. Let's start with a little bit of my story (just a little, I promise!).

Growing up, I really struggled with finding my value. Seriously, I was always so insecure and it permeated everything I did. So I tried to compensate for it with extra over the top grades or relationships, or new clothes and shoes, or even drinking too much. I thought that if I just had the best grade, it would make up for the fact that I didn't ever think the girl in the mirror was pretty. Or if that if I fished for enough compliments from a boy, I'd start to believe them. Or if I bought enough of the newest things and wore nothing but new clothes, I'd hide the ugly person I thought I was. Or if I drank enough, then I wouldn't remember all the reasons I didn't feel like I was enough. None of it worked and for so many years I just hurt. 



I wish I could tell you I woke up and turned a magic age and it all went away. I still sometimes struggle with these things. I know I'm not alone either because I'm pretty sure every girl I've ever met can relate to this in some way or another. It's kinda sad isn't it? That's why I wanted to start blogging. Because I wanted to tell my story and tell you all that you're not alone and that you're all so incredibly beautiful. And that each of us is beautiful in a different way just like a Rose and a Daisy are. And how when we start to understand where our beauty and worth truly come from, our lives are forever changed. *steps off soap box*

 When I was a little girl, my mom always told me that Jesus loved me. And I went to Sunday school and they told me that too. Which is never a bad thing. I mean I guess I believed it, but not necessarily. In my mind, Jesus was someone we prayed to and learned about in school. But actually Jesus is God. Like He's the big guy up there in heaven that created everything. He was the one that was there when Noah had his Ark, and He's the one that wrote the 10 commandments. He's pretty important in the whole scheme of things. 

And not only does He love me (you too!) but He took it upon Himself to die for me and you.  Yes, you! I know, I said the same thing. It's actually a little bit crazy that the GOD of the whole entire everything died for us isn't it? I mean I would think He'd have bigger (less painful) fish to fry. But nope. He DIED for us. That's my secret! I realized that the King of the Universe, the God of everything looked at me and considered my life worth giving up His. and it just blew. my. mind.  And let me tell you girls that He also considered your life (even with all the crazy parts) worth dying for. So I mean really, if someone that important can put that much value on your life, you have to as well!! Isn't it fabulous?! 

So maybe for some of you, this is something you've heard your whole lives too but I hope you will take the rest of the day to just mentally chew on it (yeah I just used that phrase). And for those of you who are just learning of this fabulous news, I have even better news for you!! Not only did Jesus die for you, He wants to know you and all you have to do is ask him to forgive you for all the bad things in your life and to come be with you. He will too, I promise! 

I have come quite a long way but I'm still a work in progress but I am so happy to have a way to share my heart with you all because I think you're all fabulous. Seriously, I do! 

xo 

Victoria